Dating

I play poker on Facebook and I’ve noticed something. Many of the guys are absolutely ridiculous. If you’ve never played before, your profile picture shows up on the “seat” that you’re playing on, therefore, people can see what you look like if you actually use a picture of yourself. There’s also a little chat window where the players in the room can talk to each other. It never fails that in at least 1 out of every 3 rooms there is some guy hitting on some woman he doesn’t know.

It’s funny to watch really. For example, some woman had a guy demanding her to email him. He kept putting his email address in the chat, asking her how old she was and telling her that she was pretty. She kindly tried to brush him off but then when he wouldn’t back off, she told him to leave her alone and blocked his chat talk. I had some guy type “Hey sexy how are you?” immediately followed by “Are you single?” Wait, hold on, here’s my number.

I have yet to see a woman do this to a man. No it’s not me being sexist, I honestly have never seen it in any poker room I’ve been in. It truly makes me laugh how guys will continuously hit on women with stupid pickup lines and actually think that any self respecting woman is going to fall for it. Because of course, as soon as I see the words “Hey ma, you single?” directed at me, I get all hot and bothered.

Guys, and for any women that do this as well, pickup lines make you appear dim-witted. They make us laugh at you whether they’re said in person or in an online poker room. They don’t make us want to talk to you, get to know you or basically do anything that has to do with you. Plain and simple, you look like a fool.

So how are you supposed to pick up women in an online poker room you ask? Well, I would suggest not, but it’s going to happen anyway. Therefore, if there is someone that you’re particularly interested in, find something to bring up to that person. For example, if you live in the same area talk to them about that. Bring up sports teams, current events, etc. to other people in the room and incorporate that person into the conversation. If you choose to take the talk with that person further, then send them a friend request. You’ll seem much less creepy then just a random guy who saw a girl in a poker room, didn’t talk to her, and stalked her out to be her friend. She’ll know who you are at least, then can choose to approve or deny.

I’ve been through a broken heart, more then once, and it sucks. I don’t need to tell you that. Chances are you’ve either been through it before or you’re going through it now. So what exactly are you supposed to do when you feel like you have no idea how to get through something so painful?

First, cry your eyes out. Seriously, go ahead and do it. If you don’t you may end up either having your feelings boil up inside and making you angry or you’ll break down at the most inopportune time.

Next, kick your ass. Give yourself a little while to cry then stop it. Doesn’t sound easy I know, but you’re the one that’s going to have to be responsible for dragging yourself out of bed. You have to be strong for yourself otherwise you’ll just keep wallowing. Go to the store, clean, take your dog for a walk- whatever it is, find an excuse to get up.

Go and read some inspiring books. Head to the library or bookstore and get some books that are going to trigger the confidence inside yourself. You feel like crap afterwards and your confidence may be wavering. It’s still there, so read some inspiring words to help spark it again. Surprisingly, it works.

Talk to someone. If you keep your thoughts and feelings inside, it’ll do more harm then good.

Get out of the house. Make as many plans as possible (without emptying your bank account). Good friends have a habit of putting things into perspective and kicking your ass when you need it.

You can either drag yourself through life and cry or try and enjoy life and all of its possibilities. It’s up to you which choice you want to make, however, just remember that life is too short.

It must be something in the air lately, but I’ve had more people than usual tell me that they met someone whose ex is still in the picture. I was asked if they should continue to hope that the person that they’re interested will get rid of the ex.

Basically if your interest’s ex is around, you may have a problem. If the person that you’re interested in refuses after a long while to push the ex away and focus on you, you may want to focus on other options. Ex’s can be messy and you don’t want any part of that drama. You also don’t want to get your heart smashed to bits.

Here’s some hope for you. For the most part, not all but many people will push their ex out of their life if there is a potential new person in the picture. If they person is interested in you and they want more, there’s no need for the ex to be anywhere around. Slowly but surely, you may start to represent the present and future while the ex will just represent the past.

If the ex is in the picture and s/he wants your interest back and/or you suspect that your interest still has strong feelings, it’s a situation you don’t want to be involved in. Don’t force them to get rid of the ex, but honestly express how you feel and take it from there. You can’t make someone do something that they’re not willing to do.

I have no problem with seeing people holding hands, giving each other a quick kiss or putting their head on the other person’s shoulder. I do, however, have a problem with seeing people trying to swallow another person’s face, straddling someone’s lap or making various noises while kissing. Chances are you’ve seen these type of people and I’m guessing it made you nauseous.

Sure you want to be in your own world with the person that you’re dating, but you’re not, and other people can see what you’re doing.  I travel every weekend and I can tell you that I’ve seen countless looks of disgust, rolling of the eyes and loud comments directed toward a couple or two.  You can say “If you don’t like it then don’t look”, however, people shouldn’t have to look at the ceiling to avoid seeing how far you can go without actually doing the deed right in front of them. Nor should people have to plug up their ears because of the noises that you’re making.

To all of the people that are out there and dating, try to go easy on the PDA’s. Have respect for those around you and at least wait until you get home.

You may have asked this question in the past or maybe you’re wondering it now. It can be a difficult situation to be in.

If you really like the person that you’re dating, why would you date other people? Well if this person is dating other people or doesn’t want a relationship, then you are free to date other people. If they tell you that they don’t want you dating other people when either they don’t want a relationship or they’re already dating others, you may want to reevaluate things. The person that you’re dating has their cake and wants to eat it too.

I’ve been in this position before. The guy told me he didn’t want a relationship so I started dating other people. When I told him I was dating others, he got upset, but I had already told him that after our discussion he basically gave me permission to do so. He quickly changed his mind on us “casually dating” and we moved onto exclusive.

Be aware that if you do decide to date other people, the person that you’re already casually dating may get upset. The situation could go one of three ways- they could cut ties completely, continually casually dating you or decide to move to exclusive. The only way you can truly know what’s going on is to simply ask first before you do anything. If you’re casually dating someone, there’s no reason at all that you can’t date other people, that’s why it’s called casually dating and not exclusively dating.

It can be a pretty nerve-wracking experience to meet the parents for the first time, especially if you overreact about the situation. Whether you’re meeting them at a party or at a small, more personal setting it’s important to make a good impression.

Freaking out will get you nowhere. The only thing that you’ll get out of it is sweaty palms, a headache and a strange demeanor.

First of all, dress appropriately. Cover up your assets and look presentable. Don’t have your clothes be stained or wrinkled and have them fit well. Avoid wearing silk because it can pick up the smallest amount of perspiration and avoid leather with can come off intimidating to certain people. Stick to cotton fabrics. I don’t think I need to tell you that tacky sayings or images shouldn’t be worn. Brush your hair and if you’re a female, throw on a bit of makeup.

Forget the worry. If you’re concentrating on how you look, if they like you, if your makeup is running or if you forgot to turn the stove off you’re going to seem disinterested. Focus on the parents and what they’re saying, not anything else.

Leave the alcohol alone. If you want some, drink a little. If you drink too much, you’ll look irresponsible, like a lush and utterly ridiculous.

Pick up a gift with your significant other, not by yourself. He or she knows their parents better than you do. You don’t want to pick up a box of regular chocolates if his or her father is a diabetic. Also, make the gift simple but classy. You can’t buy the parents. Impress them with your personality instead.

Don’t brag about yourself. You already have brownie points because their child is dating you. Answer honestly without sounding like you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread. Also, ask questions of the parents without seeming like you’re digging around for information. For example, if they say that they recently went to the Bahamas, say “I’ve never been there. What is it like?”

Compliment something. Tell them that the cooking was wonderful or that the house is gorgeous. If you leave without complimenting anything you’ll come off like you didn’t like anything at all.

Stick to safe topics. By safe I mean vacations, pets, hobbies and entertainment. Avoid topics such as politics, marriage, sports, religion, money, sex and the stupid things you did when you were a teenager.

If you try to make too much out of the situation, you’re going to blow it. Have some confidence in yourself and just be who you are.

A good man is hard to find. Chances are you’ve heard that said numerous times and it definitely is the truth. As difficult as it may seem, it’s nowhere near impossible.

If you want to start finding a good man, stay away from the ones that you usually go for. If you don’t already know the type you go for, ask some of your friends. Chances are they’ll be able to tell you with no problem.

Also, keep your options open. In other words, be picky but not overly so. If some guy comes up to you saying “Hey ma you have such a nice butt. Let me get your number.” then I would suggest walking away. If a guy comes up to you, looks presentable and says “Hi, I’m John. Your name is?” then give the conversation a chance instead of rolling your eyes and walking away. So what if he doesn’t exactly match the physical requirements that you’re used to, give it a chance anyway.

When you go out somewhere, don’t be desperate. Basically, don’t go out with the intention of meeting a man, go out with the intention of having fun. If you’re reeking of desperation you’re either going to get no interest or you’re going to get interest from a man looking for only one thing.

If you want to find a good man, dress appropriately. Most good men want a woman that they won’t be embarrassed to bring around their loved ones. If you’re breasts are hanging out or your g-string is pulled completely out of your jeans, you’re probably not going to attract the type of man that you want. Men should be introducing themselves to you as a person, not introducing themselves to your assets.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard women ask “Why do I attract all the jerks!?” It may be you and it may not be. if you get a crappy guy, don’t think that it’s completely your fault. Evaluate what you’re doing and how you project yourself. However, there are times when a jerk just happens to slip through the cracks.

When you meet someone with dating potential online, you may be embarrassed to tell your loved ones how you actually met. Maybe your grandmother and other older members of your family wouldn’t understand, but chances are the younger members will. Times have changed. With all of the social networking sites, forums and dating sites on the internet there are plenty of opportunities for you to meet your potential match. There’s no reason for you to pass up dating someone worthwhile just because you’re afraid of what others are going to think.

Dating online does not, and I repeat does not, mean that you’re a loser. It’s simply another way that you can meet people. Who cares what other people think. You’re the one that’s going to be dating this person, not them. Let them say what they want. As long as you’re happy with what you’re doing, their words shouldn’t matter.

If you’re attracted to your friend’s significant other, you may see it as an opportunity when they break up with each other for you to make your move. Let me put it in simple terms- The ex’s of your friends are off limits. Plain and simple. As much as you would like to sit here and read that it’s okay that you go after your friend’s ex, it’s not going to happen.

Chances are your relationship with your friend will be ruined…gone, kaput, slaughtered, vanished…you get the point. Second of all, if by some chance your friend keeps you in their life, you can’t talk to them about your relationship. Are you really going to sit there and basically compare notes? It’s very hard to listen to someone talk about your ex, even if you don’t have any feelings for your ex at all, and not feel a twinge of anger, jealousy or sadness toward them.

Don’t think that you asking your friend first is going to make it any better. It won’t. Just because they tell you that it’s okay to make your move, doesn’t mean that it is.

Also, you put your friend’s ex and your friend in an awkward position. Are you really prepared to do that to two people that you care about?

There are so many other people on this planet that aren’t your friend’s ex. You’re better off skipping over this person and moving on.

So you meet someone online and decide after awhile that you want to meet in person. Where exactly is a good place to meet?

The best place is a public location half way between the both of you. Never go to that person’s location.

I’ve read situations where a person says that they have been talking to someone online that lives far away and that that person wants to pay for them to come and stay with them for a few days. This is a bad decision in so many ways. You’re being taken far away from your home to an area where you don’t know anyone else. If you get into a bad situation, you have to fumble around to try to get help in an area that you know nothing about. This person could be psycho and be trying to lure you to them. I’m not saying that all men and women who are willing to pay the way of someone to come and visit are psychos, but there are those that are. Also, if you have to ask if this situation is okay, then you already know the answer.

There’s no reason to put yourself in that type of position. If the person wants to see you that badly, they can pay to fly out near you and stay in a hotel. Don’t let them make you feel guilty about not coming either.

Also, it’s better off that your date doesn’t know where you live, at least for awhile. Wait and see how they are. If you don’t end up liking them but they can’t take no for an answer, the last thing you want is them knowing where your home is.

Before you go to meet someone, make sure that it is in a safe public area. You don’t want to risk your life for a date.