Dating

I’ve been asked before if being friends with benefits is a waste of time. There’s a yes and a no to this question, unfortunately there’s no one set answer.

Friends with benefits can work if both people either have feelings for each other or both people don’t. It can’t work if one person has feelings for the other and it’s not reciprocated. I’m sure there are people out there going “But I can hide my feelings!”. No you can’t, not for forever anyway. How realistic is that? Besides, why would you want to do that to yourself? You’re wasting your time with someone that says they have no interest in you when you have an interest in them. Plain and simple, that situation will not work. If the person comes around later on and realizes they have feelings for you then great you can make you decision then. However, once you put yourself out there and decide that you really want more with this person and they don’t reciprocate, make a run for it before you’re the one that gets hurt.

Now, for the question on if friends with benefits can become more. Absolutely they can. I know more then one person, myself included, where a friends with benefits situation has turned into much, much more. Now here’s the slightly scary part. You actually have to discuss with the other person if that’s what the person wants and if the feelings are there to go further. What goes on after that is all up in the air. The friendship is there as is the sexual attraction which is always a fabulous way to start exclusively dating this person.

I say if you’re friends with benefits with a person that you’ve developed feelings for, go for it and put yourself out there. The other person may feel the same way but be too nervous to say anything. If it’s not reciprocated, then at least you found out before your feelings ran too deep and you know where both of you stand. You can make your next decision on what to do from there.

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