Dating

If you’re attracted to your friend’s significant other, you may see it as an opportunity when they break up with each other for you to make your move. Let me put it in simple terms- The ex’s of your friends are off limits. Plain and simple. As much as you would like to sit here and read that it’s okay that you go after your friend’s ex, it’s not going to happen.

Chances are your relationship with your friend will be ruined…gone, kaput, slaughtered, vanished…you get the point. Second of all, if by some chance your friend keeps you in their life, you can’t talk to them about your relationship. Are you really going to sit there and basically compare notes? It’s very hard to listen to someone talk about your ex, even if you don’t have any feelings for your ex at all, and not feel a twinge of anger, jealousy or sadness toward them.

Don’t think that you asking your friend first is going to make it any better. It won’t. Just because they tell you that it’s okay to make your move, doesn’t mean that it is.

Also, you put your friend’s ex and your friend in an awkward position. Are you really prepared to do that to two people that you care about?

There are so many other people on this planet that aren’t your friend’s ex. You’re better off skipping over this person and moving on.

So you meet someone online and decide after awhile that you want to meet in person. Where exactly is a good place to meet?

The best place is a public location half way between the both of you. Never go to that person’s location.

I’ve read situations where a person says that they have been talking to someone online that lives far away and that that person wants to pay for them to come and stay with them for a few days. This is a bad decision in so many ways. You’re being taken far away from your home to an area where you don’t know anyone else. If you get into a bad situation, you have to fumble around to try to get help in an area that you know nothing about. This person could be psycho and be trying to lure you to them. I’m not saying that all men and women who are willing to pay the way of someone to come and visit are psychos, but there are those that are. Also, if you have to ask if this situation is okay, then you already know the answer.

There’s no reason to put yourself in that type of position. If the person wants to see you that badly, they can pay to fly out near you and stay in a hotel. Don’t let them make you feel guilty about not coming either.

Also, it’s better off that your date doesn’t know where you live, at least for awhile. Wait and see how they are. If you don’t end up liking them but they can’t take no for an answer, the last thing you want is them knowing where your home is.

Before you go to meet someone, make sure that it is in a safe public area. You don’t want to risk your life for a date.

First impressions are formed not just on the first date, but on a few dates afterwards as well. When you whip out a coupon on a date before you get to know the person, you may not get the results that you’re looking for.

Coupons are great, really they are. For the simple act of cutting a piece of paper or printing something out you can get money taken off your bill. Who doesn’t love saving money? However, if you use a coupon in the beginning stages of dating, you may come off as cheap. While saving $3.00 off a meal is wonderful, the other person may be wondering why you’re so concerned about saving that $3.00 in the first place. For all they know, you could have $20.00 in your checking account and dust bunnies growing on your savings account. Your date doesn’t know you well enough to know that you just like saving a few dollars. They could think that you’re just plain out cheap- not frugal- but cheap.

It goes along with where you take your date for dinner. If you take them to a fast food restaurant, well chances are you’re not going to have a second date. Actually, the first date may just end quite abruptly.

There are some that don’t care if you use a coupon, but you may just be out with someone that will look at you with thoughts of cheapness running through their head. The use of coupons in the beginning stages of dating, comes off as tacky. If you really want another date with this person, hold off using coupons until down the road.

 While many men think that all places are created equal when it comes to hitting on a woman, they’re not. Here are five places that you should never hit on a woman.

In the lingerie department

Chances are if a woman is in the lingerie department, she already has someone to wear the lingerie for. If you’re a man in the lingerie department, you either like wearing it, are buying it for your wife/girlfriend, or are trying to pick up a woman- neither of which we want any part of.

At a funeral

Oh yes, I’ve seen this before. A guy sees a woman who is crying and vulnerable and tries to make his move with some “suave“ lines. Seriously, don’t try this, you may get slapped. And no, no one would care that you got slapped either because you deserved it.

At work where she’s a waitress

I can see some guys with confusion on their faces. If you’ve never been a waitress you wouldn’t understand. Yes waiters get hit on, but nowhere near as much as waitresses. A waitress is on her feet, listening to order after order for hours. She has to hear garbage from the customers, the managers and the kitchen staff. She’s tired and can’t wait to get out of work when some guy decides that it’s an appropriate time to hit on her. By the way, a waitress usually gets more tips when she flirts with customers and most of the time that‘s why she does it, not because she wants you. Waitresses get hit on all the time. As much as it hurts to hear, you may be considered another annoying guy.

Anywhere where she’s out with guys

This is never, ever a good time to hit on a woman. There’s a good chance that one of the guys is a brother, husband, boyfriend, or best friend all of who are protective of the women in their life. If you make a move, you may regret it.

Just to clarify, not all men pick up women in these locations, so this is only directed towards men that would. Also, not all women mind if men pick them up in these locations, but many do.

With the upcoming election, there are more then a few political discussions going on. Chances are some of them are a bit heated. If this can happen with friends, relatives and sometimes complete strangers, what happens when it’s with your significant other that happens to be your political opposite? This year more than other, there seems to be stronger feelings about the candidates. Obama and McCain have received more interest this year from every age group than many candidates before them.

There’s a difference between having a political discussion with your significant other and having a political feud. Politics shouldn’t get in the way of your relationship and surprisingly, some people actually let it.

Should you feel yourself getting especially heated, walk away and continue the discussion later. After going for awhile, the conversation can take a nasty turn. Remember that although the topic at hand is important, it’s not worth saying things that you’re going to regret.

If you can’t walk away, take a few deep breaths before you say anything else, even if your significant other is flipping out over the candidates qualifications. Keep your voice even, don’t scream back as it will only antagonize the other person more.

If you’re having a discussion as part of a large group and your significant other says something that you totally disagree with and you’re ready to fire off a response, keep it until later when you are alone with each other. It will give you a chance to calm down before you have a political rumble in front of your nearest and dearest.

Debates can be a lot of fun and they help you to stay on top of the issues. You say your piece, your significant other says theirs and you banter back and forth for awhile. When you’re having a discussion over why you’re voting for a certain candidate over the other, you should leave it to that and not include any phrases along the lines of “Well it figures that you would approve of his stance.”. Keep the conversation clean and without taking any shots below the belt.

Some people can do it, some can’t. Personally, there’s no way that I would be able to work with a significant other then go home to them as well; it’s just too much. If you’re faced with the chance to work with your significant other, here are some pros and cons to the situation.

Pro: You get to spend more time together. If the job has extremely long hours, such as in a hospital, then this may be the perfect setup for you. Every see Grey’s Anatomy?

Con: You’re with each other in the morning, at work, then after work. You also have mutual friends, so you’ll be spending time together there as well. It can drive you nuts, especially if you have to work closely with each other. Personal space and alone time with yourself are key in any relationship.

Pro: You save on gas. Why would you have to take two cars if you’re going to the same place? Instead of gas money being shelled out on two cars, you only have to pay for gas for one.

Con: You see each other all day, every day. After awhile, you may have difficulty finding things to talk to each other about. You’re with each other constantly and experiencing the same things. How many times have you come home and said to your significant other “Hey you’ll never guess what happened at work today!”?  If you work together, s/he may already know before you do.

Pro: You’ll never have one of those “I guess you had to be there.” moments because your significant other was probably right next to you or involved in that hilarious thing that happened.

Con: Jealousy can come into play. If you and your significant other are vying for the same position, and one gets it over the other, there’s bound to be some jealousy. Let’s be serious, as happy as you are for the other person, there’s going to be some part of you that is going to be irritated as hell.

It all depends on personal preference. Before you choose to work with your significant other, you should think long and hard about the decision. It’s definitely not one to be taken lightly.

On the first date, it’s nice to have a glass of wine, especially if you’re going out to dinner. But is it a good idea?

First of all, no matter what you’re drinking, be protective of it. Unfortunately, jerks still slip drugs into their date’s drinks. With that said-

In my opinion, you have to judge yourself to see how your body responds to alcohol. Some people can have one drink and they’re already buzzed, especially if it’s a strong drink. Others can have a little more before feeling it. In my opinion, if you’re a one drink person, then skip the alcohol alltogether. You want to make sure that you have all of your wits about you. If you’re a multiple drink person, then have only one or two depending on your tolerance and what you‘re drinking.

You never, ever, want to get drunk on a date. Not only is it not safe, but stumbling and slurring your words isn’t sexy. Actually, most dates will think that you look plain trashy, even if you’ve been dating for years.

There is nothing more annoying then when a person sits on a cell phone during a date. I went on a date once where the guy used his cell phone during a walk and proceeded to talk to his friend about how bad his boss was. Needless to say after about seven minutes, I was irked and made up my mind about him. When he asked me out again, I chuckled to myself.

When you’re on a date, keep your cell phone on vibrate and in your pocket. You don’t even need to keep it on silent. If the phone buzzes during the date, press the side buttons to silence it. Wait until you’re done with dinner or until your date goes to the bathroom and glance down at it. If it’s an emergency or there‘s a voicemail, excuse yourself, go to the bathroom and check the messages but only do it once during the date. If you need to call back, do so quickly. Never, ever do it in a public place such as while you’re sitting in a movie theatre or while you’re eating dinner.

Unless there’s an emergency, such as your child has no ride home or someone is in the hospital, there’s no reason why you should be talking on the phone. If it is an emergency, your date should understand that a call needs to be made. A date usually doesn’t last more than a few hours, almost everything else can wait until its over.

I’ve heard from quite a few people that they don’t like when the person that they’re dating checks out others while they’re out together. I have to admit that I’ve done this before and I see no problem with it- for the most part.

The problem isn’t checking out other people, it’s how you or your date go about it. We’re all human, we’re allowed to notice a good looking person (or at least a part of a good looking person) even when we’re out with someone else. When you are out on a date, do not, and I repeat do not, stare at another person. If you happen to notice, you glance and look away but that’s it and never do it while you’re in the middle of talking to your date. When you talk to your date, you look them in the eyes and that’s it; you focus on them. By the way, don’t be dumb enough to do it excessively. Your date should feel like they’re the only person on your mind. If you’re doing it too much, expect the other person to start to lose interest in you. Actually, if you’re focused more on checking out other people then you are on your own date, you probably shouldn’t be out with that person in the first place.