Dating

If you’re attracted to your friend’s significant other, you may see it as an opportunity when they break up with each other for you to make your move. Let me put it in simple terms- The ex’s of your friends are off limits. Plain and simple. As much as you would like to sit here and read that it’s okay that you go after your friend’s ex, it’s not going to happen.

Chances are your relationship with your friend will be ruined…gone, kaput, slaughtered, vanished…you get the point. Second of all, if by some chance your friend keeps you in their life, you can’t talk to them about your relationship. Are you really going to sit there and basically compare notes? It’s very hard to listen to someone talk about your ex, even if you don’t have any feelings for your ex at all, and not feel a twinge of anger, jealousy or sadness toward them.

Don’t think that you asking your friend first is going to make it any better. It won’t. Just because they tell you that it’s okay to make your move, doesn’t mean that it is.

Also, you put your friend’s ex and your friend in an awkward position. Are you really prepared to do that to two people that you care about?

There are so many other people on this planet that aren’t your friend’s ex. You’re better off skipping over this person and moving on.

Did you ever have a friend that as soon as they found a boyfriend or girlfriend, they suddenly started to vanish? The calls became less frequent and they hung out with you less and less. Probably. You may even be one of those people. Now granted, it may be that you see this friend less because suddenly you have another person that you share your life with where you have a second set of family obligations to deal with along with alone time that you would like with this other person, but most people don’t let it affect their friendships to a severe point.

What if this friend flat out told you that they couldn’t go out anymore because they had a boyfriend? It happened to me and yes, I was extremely hurt. This person flat out told me that because they had a boyfriend they could no longer get lunch, go for a walk or to get some coffee. This person stated that they had a future to plan with this person that they were dating. However, I was told that I could occasionally stop over the house if I wanted to. I was also told that things are different then from the person that I am dating because she hasn’t been dating this guy that long (they’ve been dating for two years). Not relatively new in my opinion. Apparently this message has also been relayed to her other friends who see no problem with her saying that she is not going to be going out anymore and sees no problem with the fact that she doesn’t ever pick up the phone when she’s in his presence.

As much as I care for this friend, it’s simply not worth my time and my hurt has turned to an “I don’t care attitude.” I find no point in doing everything I can for a friendship that has a cloud looming over it. I’m definitely not the only person to have gone through this situation and I’m sure as hell not going to be last and frankly, it’s disappointing that some people don’t realize how precious a good friend can truly be.

Friends are important and it doesn’t matter if you are single, dating or you’re married. Friends are who you can turn to when you’re having problems and when you need a hug or a simple night out away from everything. Being friends with someone doesn’t mean picking up and dropping the person because you found someone to date. Your friends should be just as big a part of your future as the person that you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with.