Dating

I play poker on Facebook and I’ve noticed something. Many of the guys are absolutely ridiculous. If you’ve never played before, your profile picture shows up on the “seat” that you’re playing on, therefore, people can see what you look like if you actually use a picture of yourself. There’s also a little chat window where the players in the room can talk to each other. It never fails that in at least 1 out of every 3 rooms there is some guy hitting on some woman he doesn’t know.

It’s funny to watch really. For example, some woman had a guy demanding her to email him. He kept putting his email address in the chat, asking her how old she was and telling her that she was pretty. She kindly tried to brush him off but then when he wouldn’t back off, she told him to leave her alone and blocked his chat talk. I had some guy type “Hey sexy how are you?” immediately followed by “Are you single?” Wait, hold on, here’s my number.

I have yet to see a woman do this to a man. No it’s not me being sexist, I honestly have never seen it in any poker room I’ve been in. It truly makes me laugh how guys will continuously hit on women with stupid pickup lines and actually think that any self respecting woman is going to fall for it. Because of course, as soon as I see the words “Hey ma, you single?” directed at me, I get all hot and bothered.

Guys, and for any women that do this as well, pickup lines make you appear dim-witted. They make us laugh at you whether they’re said in person or in an online poker room. They don’t make us want to talk to you, get to know you or basically do anything that has to do with you. Plain and simple, you look like a fool.

So how are you supposed to pick up women in an online poker room you ask? Well, I would suggest not, but it’s going to happen anyway. Therefore, if there is someone that you’re particularly interested in, find something to bring up to that person. For example, if you live in the same area talk to them about that. Bring up sports teams, current events, etc. to other people in the room and incorporate that person into the conversation. If you choose to take the talk with that person further, then send them a friend request. You’ll seem much less creepy then just a random guy who saw a girl in a poker room, didn’t talk to her, and stalked her out to be her friend. She’ll know who you are at least, then can choose to approve or deny.

You may have asked this question in the past or maybe you’re wondering it now. It can be a difficult situation to be in.

If you really like the person that you’re dating, why would you date other people? Well if this person is dating other people or doesn’t want a relationship, then you are free to date other people. If they tell you that they don’t want you dating other people when either they don’t want a relationship or they’re already dating others, you may want to reevaluate things. The person that you’re dating has their cake and wants to eat it too.

I’ve been in this position before. The guy told me he didn’t want a relationship so I started dating other people. When I told him I was dating others, he got upset, but I had already told him that after our discussion he basically gave me permission to do so. He quickly changed his mind on us “casually dating” and we moved onto exclusive.

Be aware that if you do decide to date other people, the person that you’re already casually dating may get upset. The situation could go one of three ways- they could cut ties completely, continually casually dating you or decide to move to exclusive. The only way you can truly know what’s going on is to simply ask first before you do anything. If you’re casually dating someone, there’s no reason at all that you can’t date other people, that’s why it’s called casually dating and not exclusively dating.

With the upcoming election, there are more then a few political discussions going on. Chances are some of them are a bit heated. If this can happen with friends, relatives and sometimes complete strangers, what happens when it’s with your significant other that happens to be your political opposite? This year more than other, there seems to be stronger feelings about the candidates. Obama and McCain have received more interest this year from every age group than many candidates before them.

There’s a difference between having a political discussion with your significant other and having a political feud. Politics shouldn’t get in the way of your relationship and surprisingly, some people actually let it.

Should you feel yourself getting especially heated, walk away and continue the discussion later. After going for awhile, the conversation can take a nasty turn. Remember that although the topic at hand is important, it’s not worth saying things that you’re going to regret.

If you can’t walk away, take a few deep breaths before you say anything else, even if your significant other is flipping out over the candidates qualifications. Keep your voice even, don’t scream back as it will only antagonize the other person more.

If you’re having a discussion as part of a large group and your significant other says something that you totally disagree with and you’re ready to fire off a response, keep it until later when you are alone with each other. It will give you a chance to calm down before you have a political rumble in front of your nearest and dearest.

Debates can be a lot of fun and they help you to stay on top of the issues. You say your piece, your significant other says theirs and you banter back and forth for awhile. When you’re having a discussion over why you’re voting for a certain candidate over the other, you should leave it to that and not include any phrases along the lines of “Well it figures that you would approve of his stance.”. Keep the conversation clean and without taking any shots below the belt.

There is nothing more annoying then when a person sits on a cell phone during a date. I went on a date once where the guy used his cell phone during a walk and proceeded to talk to his friend about how bad his boss was. Needless to say after about seven minutes, I was irked and made up my mind about him. When he asked me out again, I chuckled to myself.

When you’re on a date, keep your cell phone on vibrate and in your pocket. You don’t even need to keep it on silent. If the phone buzzes during the date, press the side buttons to silence it. Wait until you’re done with dinner or until your date goes to the bathroom and glance down at it. If it’s an emergency or there‘s a voicemail, excuse yourself, go to the bathroom and check the messages but only do it once during the date. If you need to call back, do so quickly. Never, ever do it in a public place such as while you’re sitting in a movie theatre or while you’re eating dinner.

Unless there’s an emergency, such as your child has no ride home or someone is in the hospital, there’s no reason why you should be talking on the phone. If it is an emergency, your date should understand that a call needs to be made. A date usually doesn’t last more than a few hours, almost everything else can wait until its over.

After you have an enjoyable first date where you’re interested in seeing the person again, how exactly are you supposed to ask for a second date?

The best way to go about it is to bring it up during the first date, then call a few days later to ask for a second date. When you bring it up during the first date, you can get an impression on whether or not the person would go out with you again. Say something such as “I had a great time. We should do this again.” A classic line, yes, but it works to gauge the other person’s interest. If your date has a non-fake smile, shows genuine interest and says “Yes we should.” then go ahead and call. If your date seems hesitant, then you can take your chances of calling, but don’t expect much. If you get an oh-so-fake smile and a “Yeaa, ok…” or gives you a flat out “no” well then you obviously know where you stand.

If you don’t mention something on the first date and the other person is interested in you, then you leave them wondering and pondering whether or not you’re actually going to call, if you had a great time, if you’re interested, etc. You may think it’s a smart move, but it’s not.

I just wanted to put out an apology for my lack of posts lately. I’ve been dealing with a family emergency and will resume regular posts as of tomorrow.

After a breakup, many people find themselves on the rebound. They’re looking for someone to temporarily fill the void that they feel. But what do you do if you’re on the receiving end of that attention?

I would say to have zero expectations. The person could say nice things, take you out on fabulous dinners and make you feel like you’re the most important person in the world. Unfortunately, they may not always mean it. Yes, it’s not great to hear, but it’s the truth. If you have the expectation that you’re going to date this person long term, marry them, have a family with them, etc, then you could be setting yourself up for disaster. Don’t forget, sometimes a couple that has broken up gets back together. If strong feelings are still there between your current interest and his/her ex, you need to realize that you are not number one…yet. You are currently second to his ex. Not a great feeling, but something that will help to keep you from getting unnecessarily hurt.

I’m not saying to completely disregard this person at all. Take your time and take things slow. Most of the time with a breakup, both parties do not come out unscathed. Give the person time to heal before you force expectations on them and/or make them go to the next level. Don’t force them to give you attention or commitment. You want to make sure that that person is interested in you because of you, not because of the lack of someone else.

Communication and observation is key in this situation. Talk to this person and see how they feel about you and how they feel about their ex, but don‘t push for information. Remember to talk and not interrogate. Observe them. Look for signs of his/her attention being more focused on you and spending time with you. Look for this person to have a genuine interest in moving on instead of a fake, forced interest in doing so.

If and when things are ready to happen, they will.

On the first date, do you believe that it is okay to stretch the truth about your life? For example, should you say that you’re 29 when you’re really 33? In my opinion, absolutely not.

I’m not a fan of stretching the truth, or basically lying. Look at it this way. Using the example above, when the person you’re dating finds out that you’re not the age you said you were, how is he supposed to react to being fibbed to. Not only that, but now his family and friends are going to know your age. How is he supposed to explain getting your age wrong? If he says “She told me she was that age” you now look like a liar to the people he cares about the most. You may not think of it as a big deal, but loved ones are THE MOST critical regarding who the person dates. Any indication that you’re a liar or that you “stretched the truth” is not going to be attractive to them.

The only way to start out dating anyone, especially if it could turn into long term, is to start out with pure honesty. Besides, the person is eventually going to find out that whatever you fibbed about isn’t true.

You should be who you truly are with no shame to it at all. No one is perfect and you should own up to the great things that you’ve done and who you are as well as what your flaws are (whatever you consider them to be).

If you feel that you have to fib about something, then that’s an internal issue that you have to deal with. If you feel that you have to fib because of the other person, then you probably shouldn’t be dating them in the first place.

I love seeing people that have been dating for awhile still holding hands. It seems to be something that goes away after dating for months or years and it absolutely shouldn’t. Holding hands can be quite beneficial to a relationship.

The simple act of holding hands allows the two people that are dating to share physical intimacy in some small way. Many people aren’t’ fans of kissing in public and most people won’t be on top of each other out of respect for those around them. The small act of holding hands can give you many different feelings- a jolt of happiness, comfort when you are feeling down and even the occasional feeling of arousal.

You feel closer when you hold hands. It’s sort of like putting a puzzle together. Consider your hands puzzle pieces. When you hold hands, it’s a small reminder that you two fit together perfectly and still do after all the time of dating. Slightly corny, but true.

Who knew that holding hands with your significant other could hold so many benefits?

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