Dating

If you’re attracted to your friend’s significant other, you may see it as an opportunity when they break up with each other for you to make your move. Let me put it in simple terms- The ex’s of your friends are off limits. Plain and simple. As much as you would like to sit here and read that it’s okay that you go after your friend’s ex, it’s not going to happen.

Chances are your relationship with your friend will be ruined…gone, kaput, slaughtered, vanished…you get the point. Second of all, if by some chance your friend keeps you in their life, you can’t talk to them about your relationship. Are you really going to sit there and basically compare notes? It’s very hard to listen to someone talk about your ex, even if you don’t have any feelings for your ex at all, and not feel a twinge of anger, jealousy or sadness toward them.

Don’t think that you asking your friend first is going to make it any better. It won’t. Just because they tell you that it’s okay to make your move, doesn’t mean that it is.

Also, you put your friend’s ex and your friend in an awkward position. Are you really prepared to do that to two people that you care about?

There are so many other people on this planet that aren’t your friend’s ex. You’re better off skipping over this person and moving on.

I’ve been asked before if being friends with benefits is a waste of time. There’s a yes and a no to this question, unfortunately there’s no one set answer.

Friends with benefits can work if both people either have feelings for each other or both people don’t. It can’t work if one person has feelings for the other and it’s not reciprocated. I’m sure there are people out there going “But I can hide my feelings!”. No you can’t, not for forever anyway. How realistic is that? Besides, why would you want to do that to yourself? You’re wasting your time with someone that says they have no interest in you when you have an interest in them. Plain and simple, that situation will not work. If the person comes around later on and realizes they have feelings for you then great you can make you decision then. However, once you put yourself out there and decide that you really want more with this person and they don’t reciprocate, make a run for it before you’re the one that gets hurt.

Now, for the question on if friends with benefits can become more. Absolutely they can. I know more then one person, myself included, where a friends with benefits situation has turned into much, much more. Now here’s the slightly scary part. You actually have to discuss with the other person if that’s what the person wants and if the feelings are there to go further. What goes on after that is all up in the air. The friendship is there as is the sexual attraction which is always a fabulous way to start exclusively dating this person.

I say if you’re friends with benefits with a person that you’ve developed feelings for, go for it and put yourself out there. The other person may feel the same way but be too nervous to say anything. If it’s not reciprocated, then at least you found out before your feelings ran too deep and you know where both of you stand. You can make your next decision on what to do from there.