Dating

I play poker on Facebook and I’ve noticed something. Many of the guys are absolutely ridiculous. If you’ve never played before, your profile picture shows up on the “seat” that you’re playing on, therefore, people can see what you look like if you actually use a picture of yourself. There’s also a little chat window where the players in the room can talk to each other. It never fails that in at least 1 out of every 3 rooms there is some guy hitting on some woman he doesn’t know.

It’s funny to watch really. For example, some woman had a guy demanding her to email him. He kept putting his email address in the chat, asking her how old she was and telling her that she was pretty. She kindly tried to brush him off but then when he wouldn’t back off, she told him to leave her alone and blocked his chat talk. I had some guy type “Hey sexy how are you?” immediately followed by “Are you single?” Wait, hold on, here’s my number.

I have yet to see a woman do this to a man. No it’s not me being sexist, I honestly have never seen it in any poker room I’ve been in. It truly makes me laugh how guys will continuously hit on women with stupid pickup lines and actually think that any self respecting woman is going to fall for it. Because of course, as soon as I see the words “Hey ma, you single?” directed at me, I get all hot and bothered.

Guys, and for any women that do this as well, pickup lines make you appear dim-witted. They make us laugh at you whether they’re said in person or in an online poker room. They don’t make us want to talk to you, get to know you or basically do anything that has to do with you. Plain and simple, you look like a fool.

So how are you supposed to pick up women in an online poker room you ask? Well, I would suggest not, but it’s going to happen anyway. Therefore, if there is someone that you’re particularly interested in, find something to bring up to that person. For example, if you live in the same area talk to them about that. Bring up sports teams, current events, etc. to other people in the room and incorporate that person into the conversation. If you choose to take the talk with that person further, then send them a friend request. You’ll seem much less creepy then just a random guy who saw a girl in a poker room, didn’t talk to her, and stalked her out to be her friend. She’ll know who you are at least, then can choose to approve or deny.

I have no problem with seeing people holding hands, giving each other a quick kiss or putting their head on the other person’s shoulder. I do, however, have a problem with seeing people trying to swallow another person’s face, straddling someone’s lap or making various noises while kissing. Chances are you’ve seen these type of people and I’m guessing it made you nauseous.

Sure you want to be in your own world with the person that you’re dating, but you’re not, and other people can see what you’re doing.  I travel every weekend and I can tell you that I’ve seen countless looks of disgust, rolling of the eyes and loud comments directed toward a couple or two.  You can say “If you don’t like it then don’t look”, however, people shouldn’t have to look at the ceiling to avoid seeing how far you can go without actually doing the deed right in front of them. Nor should people have to plug up their ears because of the noises that you’re making.

To all of the people that are out there and dating, try to go easy on the PDA’s. Have respect for those around you and at least wait until you get home.

If you’re attracted to your friend’s significant other, you may see it as an opportunity when they break up with each other for you to make your move. Let me put it in simple terms- The ex’s of your friends are off limits. Plain and simple. As much as you would like to sit here and read that it’s okay that you go after your friend’s ex, it’s not going to happen.

Chances are your relationship with your friend will be ruined…gone, kaput, slaughtered, vanished…you get the point. Second of all, if by some chance your friend keeps you in their life, you can’t talk to them about your relationship. Are you really going to sit there and basically compare notes? It’s very hard to listen to someone talk about your ex, even if you don’t have any feelings for your ex at all, and not feel a twinge of anger, jealousy or sadness toward them.

Don’t think that you asking your friend first is going to make it any better. It won’t. Just because they tell you that it’s okay to make your move, doesn’t mean that it is.

Also, you put your friend’s ex and your friend in an awkward position. Are you really prepared to do that to two people that you care about?

There are so many other people on this planet that aren’t your friend’s ex. You’re better off skipping over this person and moving on.

First impressions are formed not just on the first date, but on a few dates afterwards as well. When you whip out a coupon on a date before you get to know the person, you may not get the results that you’re looking for.

Coupons are great, really they are. For the simple act of cutting a piece of paper or printing something out you can get money taken off your bill. Who doesn’t love saving money? However, if you use a coupon in the beginning stages of dating, you may come off as cheap. While saving $3.00 off a meal is wonderful, the other person may be wondering why you’re so concerned about saving that $3.00 in the first place. For all they know, you could have $20.00 in your checking account and dust bunnies growing on your savings account. Your date doesn’t know you well enough to know that you just like saving a few dollars. They could think that you’re just plain out cheap- not frugal- but cheap.

It goes along with where you take your date for dinner. If you take them to a fast food restaurant, well chances are you’re not going to have a second date. Actually, the first date may just end quite abruptly.

There are some that don’t care if you use a coupon, but you may just be out with someone that will look at you with thoughts of cheapness running through their head. The use of coupons in the beginning stages of dating, comes off as tacky. If you really want another date with this person, hold off using coupons until down the road.

 While many men think that all places are created equal when it comes to hitting on a woman, they’re not. Here are five places that you should never hit on a woman.

In the lingerie department

Chances are if a woman is in the lingerie department, she already has someone to wear the lingerie for. If you’re a man in the lingerie department, you either like wearing it, are buying it for your wife/girlfriend, or are trying to pick up a woman- neither of which we want any part of.

At a funeral

Oh yes, I’ve seen this before. A guy sees a woman who is crying and vulnerable and tries to make his move with some “suave“ lines. Seriously, don’t try this, you may get slapped. And no, no one would care that you got slapped either because you deserved it.

At work where she’s a waitress

I can see some guys with confusion on their faces. If you’ve never been a waitress you wouldn’t understand. Yes waiters get hit on, but nowhere near as much as waitresses. A waitress is on her feet, listening to order after order for hours. She has to hear garbage from the customers, the managers and the kitchen staff. She’s tired and can’t wait to get out of work when some guy decides that it’s an appropriate time to hit on her. By the way, a waitress usually gets more tips when she flirts with customers and most of the time that‘s why she does it, not because she wants you. Waitresses get hit on all the time. As much as it hurts to hear, you may be considered another annoying guy.

Anywhere where she’s out with guys

This is never, ever a good time to hit on a woman. There’s a good chance that one of the guys is a brother, husband, boyfriend, or best friend all of who are protective of the women in their life. If you make a move, you may regret it.

Just to clarify, not all men pick up women in these locations, so this is only directed towards men that would. Also, not all women mind if men pick them up in these locations, but many do.

On the first date, it’s nice to have a glass of wine, especially if you’re going out to dinner. But is it a good idea?

First of all, no matter what you’re drinking, be protective of it. Unfortunately, jerks still slip drugs into their date’s drinks. With that said-

In my opinion, you have to judge yourself to see how your body responds to alcohol. Some people can have one drink and they’re already buzzed, especially if it’s a strong drink. Others can have a little more before feeling it. In my opinion, if you’re a one drink person, then skip the alcohol alltogether. You want to make sure that you have all of your wits about you. If you’re a multiple drink person, then have only one or two depending on your tolerance and what you‘re drinking.

You never, ever, want to get drunk on a date. Not only is it not safe, but stumbling and slurring your words isn’t sexy. Actually, most dates will think that you look plain trashy, even if you’ve been dating for years.

There is nothing more annoying then when a person sits on a cell phone during a date. I went on a date once where the guy used his cell phone during a walk and proceeded to talk to his friend about how bad his boss was. Needless to say after about seven minutes, I was irked and made up my mind about him. When he asked me out again, I chuckled to myself.

When you’re on a date, keep your cell phone on vibrate and in your pocket. You don’t even need to keep it on silent. If the phone buzzes during the date, press the side buttons to silence it. Wait until you’re done with dinner or until your date goes to the bathroom and glance down at it. If it’s an emergency or there‘s a voicemail, excuse yourself, go to the bathroom and check the messages but only do it once during the date. If you need to call back, do so quickly. Never, ever do it in a public place such as while you’re sitting in a movie theatre or while you’re eating dinner.

Unless there’s an emergency, such as your child has no ride home or someone is in the hospital, there’s no reason why you should be talking on the phone. If it is an emergency, your date should understand that a call needs to be made. A date usually doesn’t last more than a few hours, almost everything else can wait until its over.

I’ve heard from quite a few people that they don’t like when the person that they’re dating checks out others while they’re out together. I have to admit that I’ve done this before and I see no problem with it- for the most part.

The problem isn’t checking out other people, it’s how you or your date go about it. We’re all human, we’re allowed to notice a good looking person (or at least a part of a good looking person) even when we’re out with someone else. When you are out on a date, do not, and I repeat do not, stare at another person. If you happen to notice, you glance and look away but that’s it and never do it while you’re in the middle of talking to your date. When you talk to your date, you look them in the eyes and that’s it; you focus on them. By the way, don’t be dumb enough to do it excessively. Your date should feel like they’re the only person on your mind. If you’re doing it too much, expect the other person to start to lose interest in you. Actually, if you’re focused more on checking out other people then you are on your own date, you probably shouldn’t be out with that person in the first place.

I remember when a guy I knew told me a story about how a girl he went on a few dates with basically turned into a screaming banshee when they were stuck in traffic; I mean basically cursing, screaming, giving the middle finger, etc. After that situation he never quite looked at her the same way again, after all it was only their second date. He didn’t really have much to go by as far as personality goes since he didn’t know her that well. She could have been having a bad day, but for all he knows she was a complete psycho.

If bad things happen on a date, take it in stride. Have a good attitude and watch how you act. Remember, if you just met this person, they don’t know all of who you are. The person is still going by how you act and learning about you day by day. If you go and act like a nut job in front of them by say, shrieking and throwing plates at the waiter that wrote your order down wrong, the person is going to run from you faster then the waiter will duck. If the other person sees you being calm, cool and collected, they’re going to think you’re a fabulous person who can handle themself well.

If you find yourself getting infuriated, take deep breaths. Remember that situations can be worse and you need to deal with it in a proper manner. Don’t just use these techniques during a date, use them in the rest of your life as well.

It is incredibly important that while you are dating someone, you don’t lose who you are. There are too many people that start dating someone, only to forget everything that they loved before they met this person. The person that you are dating found you attractive in the first place, part of it is because you had your own life and you had your own hobbies. If that person doesn’t like it now, then maybe it’s time that you reevaluate your relationship.

Whatever hobbies you loved before, keep doing it! If you have no idea how to get back into it if you already feel like you have lost part of yourself, take small steps.

If you loved cooking, head to a cooking class and learn something new.
If you loved exercise, get up an hour early and go for a run.

There are those that were into dancing at clubs at all hours. If your significant other isn’t into doing this, you may just give it up all together. Suggest to your significant other that you go once in awhile with each other. If you don’t miss the club scene but miss the dancing, start taking a dance class.

You can also look for a volunteer opportunity that matches just what you are looking for.

Just remember, while you share your life with someone that you’re dating, it doesn’t mean that they should become your life.