Dating

I play poker on Facebook and I’ve noticed something. Many of the guys are absolutely ridiculous. If you’ve never played before, your profile picture shows up on the “seat” that you’re playing on, therefore, people can see what you look like if you actually use a picture of yourself. There’s also a little chat window where the players in the room can talk to each other. It never fails that in at least 1 out of every 3 rooms there is some guy hitting on some woman he doesn’t know.

It’s funny to watch really. For example, some woman had a guy demanding her to email him. He kept putting his email address in the chat, asking her how old she was and telling her that she was pretty. She kindly tried to brush him off but then when he wouldn’t back off, she told him to leave her alone and blocked his chat talk. I had some guy type “Hey sexy how are you?” immediately followed by “Are you single?” Wait, hold on, here’s my number.

I have yet to see a woman do this to a man. No it’s not me being sexist, I honestly have never seen it in any poker room I’ve been in. It truly makes me laugh how guys will continuously hit on women with stupid pickup lines and actually think that any self respecting woman is going to fall for it. Because of course, as soon as I see the words “Hey ma, you single?” directed at me, I get all hot and bothered.

Guys, and for any women that do this as well, pickup lines make you appear dim-witted. They make us laugh at you whether they’re said in person or in an online poker room. They don’t make us want to talk to you, get to know you or basically do anything that has to do with you. Plain and simple, you look like a fool.

So how are you supposed to pick up women in an online poker room you ask? Well, I would suggest not, but it’s going to happen anyway. Therefore, if there is someone that you’re particularly interested in, find something to bring up to that person. For example, if you live in the same area talk to them about that. Bring up sports teams, current events, etc. to other people in the room and incorporate that person into the conversation. If you choose to take the talk with that person further, then send them a friend request. You’ll seem much less creepy then just a random guy who saw a girl in a poker room, didn’t talk to her, and stalked her out to be her friend. She’ll know who you are at least, then can choose to approve or deny.

A good man is hard to find. Chances are you’ve heard that said numerous times and it definitely is the truth. As difficult as it may seem, it’s nowhere near impossible.

If you want to start finding a good man, stay away from the ones that you usually go for. If you don’t already know the type you go for, ask some of your friends. Chances are they’ll be able to tell you with no problem.

Also, keep your options open. In other words, be picky but not overly so. If some guy comes up to you saying “Hey ma you have such a nice butt. Let me get your number.” then I would suggest walking away. If a guy comes up to you, looks presentable and says “Hi, I’m John. Your name is?” then give the conversation a chance instead of rolling your eyes and walking away. So what if he doesn’t exactly match the physical requirements that you’re used to, give it a chance anyway.

When you go out somewhere, don’t be desperate. Basically, don’t go out with the intention of meeting a man, go out with the intention of having fun. If you’re reeking of desperation you’re either going to get no interest or you’re going to get interest from a man looking for only one thing.

If you want to find a good man, dress appropriately. Most good men want a woman that they won’t be embarrassed to bring around their loved ones. If you’re breasts are hanging out or your g-string is pulled completely out of your jeans, you’re probably not going to attract the type of man that you want. Men should be introducing themselves to you as a person, not introducing themselves to your assets.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard women ask “Why do I attract all the jerks!?” It may be you and it may not be. if you get a crappy guy, don’t think that it’s completely your fault. Evaluate what you’re doing and how you project yourself. However, there are times when a jerk just happens to slip through the cracks.

When you meet someone with dating potential online, you may be embarrassed to tell your loved ones how you actually met. Maybe your grandmother and other older members of your family wouldn’t understand, but chances are the younger members will. Times have changed. With all of the social networking sites, forums and dating sites on the internet there are plenty of opportunities for you to meet your potential match. There’s no reason for you to pass up dating someone worthwhile just because you’re afraid of what others are going to think.

Dating online does not, and I repeat does not, mean that you’re a loser. It’s simply another way that you can meet people. Who cares what other people think. You’re the one that’s going to be dating this person, not them. Let them say what they want. As long as you’re happy with what you’re doing, their words shouldn’t matter.

 While many men think that all places are created equal when it comes to hitting on a woman, they’re not. Here are five places that you should never hit on a woman.

In the lingerie department

Chances are if a woman is in the lingerie department, she already has someone to wear the lingerie for. If you’re a man in the lingerie department, you either like wearing it, are buying it for your wife/girlfriend, or are trying to pick up a woman- neither of which we want any part of.

At a funeral

Oh yes, I’ve seen this before. A guy sees a woman who is crying and vulnerable and tries to make his move with some “suave“ lines. Seriously, don’t try this, you may get slapped. And no, no one would care that you got slapped either because you deserved it.

At work where she’s a waitress

I can see some guys with confusion on their faces. If you’ve never been a waitress you wouldn’t understand. Yes waiters get hit on, but nowhere near as much as waitresses. A waitress is on her feet, listening to order after order for hours. She has to hear garbage from the customers, the managers and the kitchen staff. She’s tired and can’t wait to get out of work when some guy decides that it’s an appropriate time to hit on her. By the way, a waitress usually gets more tips when she flirts with customers and most of the time that‘s why she does it, not because she wants you. Waitresses get hit on all the time. As much as it hurts to hear, you may be considered another annoying guy.

Anywhere where she’s out with guys

This is never, ever a good time to hit on a woman. There’s a good chance that one of the guys is a brother, husband, boyfriend, or best friend all of who are protective of the women in their life. If you make a move, you may regret it.

Just to clarify, not all men pick up women in these locations, so this is only directed towards men that would. Also, not all women mind if men pick them up in these locations, but many do.

In the age of Facebook and Myspace, has the art of asking for someone‘s phone number disappeared? I don’t remember the last time one of my friends has told me that they gave their phone number to someone. They’ve been telling me that they exchanged Myspace or Facebook information.

Now while doing this has its good points, it also has its bad. First of all, it’s sort of like having a textual relationship (talking via text instead of picking up the phone and talking to your significant other). The benefit of technology has, while making our lives easier, also made us less communicative with others if there needs to be effort made. Many people just simply prefer to text or to IM rather than pick up the phone.

The other problem is that each person can get the wrong impression of the other. Say you use Facebook IM and one person makes a joke, but the other person takes it seriously. It’s a little difficult to decipher conversations online, even when using emoticons (::rolls eyes :: ). You can’t hear the persons voice, so it’s a little hard to get a good read on what they mean when they make certain statements.

Don’t forget the issue of trying to be friends with someone who misinterprets your intentions just because you exchange facebook or Myspace information with them.

On the other hand, it seems to ease the nervousness of contacting someone that you’re interested in. It’s a lot less nerve-wracking when you’re sending a “Hey how are ya?” IM on facebook or a message on Myspace then when you have to pick up the phone worried that you’re going to sound like an ass. This can be a blessing for the incredibly shy people who are just trying to make it past the first three words.

Giving someone your online information is also good because if they turn out to be a complete jerk that you can’t get rid of,  it’s much easier to block them then to have to deal with avoiding their phone calls and then finally having to change your phone number. Not to mention it’s less expensive (uh, $15 charge each time my phone number gets changed- and no it doesn’t matter the reason).

My personal opinion is do whatever you feel comfortable with. However, when it comes to conversing over the computer, make sure you ask before you flip out over something someone said. Question them first and let them know that you don’t want to misinterpret what was said. One warning though. Make sure that your relationship, whatever it may be, doesn’t stay completely online or via text. Give them your phone number after you develop more of an impression of them. It’s still great to hear the other person’s voice and develop more of a personal connection with them.

Sure it may not be the easiest thing to talk to an attractive stranger. By the time you work yourself up to talk to that person, they’ve walked away and you’re left wondering what could have been had you only opened your mouth. If you’re wondering how to gain the confidence to talk to that attractive stranger across the room, here are some tips.

Tell yourself that if you lose this chance, you may not get it back again.

Is not being able to have have the confidence to have a conversation with someone really worth losing a chance with someone potentially great?

Give yourself a pep talk from the moment you’re getting ready for as long as you feel that you need it.

Don’t start doing it when you actually see someone you’re interested in talking to them, that’s too late. By that time it may talk so long for you to work up the courage that you may never get your chance.

Look fabulous.

When you dress well you feel more confident. You know you look good, therefore you have no questions going through your mind about your appearance.

Have a couple of sips of alcohol first (of course, if you’re legal age).

While alcohol obviously isn’t the answer to all life’s problems, it will relax you a little bit so when you walk up you’re not so nervous that you can’t manage to get two words out.

Have the mentality that whatever will happen, will happen.

Don’t go into the conversation preparing to get a phone number, but don’t go in there preparing to get rejected either. Go into the approach telling yourself that at least you tried and whatever is going to happen, you’re okay with.

You can basically meet singles anywhere. The possibilities are all over the place. However, for those saying “But I tried and it’s not happening! Give me specifics!”, here are three great places for you to go and meet other singles.

The dog park
You may not even have to do the work, your dog may do it for you. Your dog meets a dog, one thing leads to another and before you know it you’re conversing with the other dog’s owner who happens to be quite attractive. Even sitting next to a good looking stranger can spur conversation as you watch the dogs run around together. Besides, at least you know that both of you are dog lovers.

The book store

I happen to find reading sexy. It shows that the person is willing to go out of their way to expand their mind and read something that they’re not being forced to read (I.e. all of those boring documents at work). A book store is chock full of people who love reading and who, chances are, love talking about the book that they’re currently reading. Feel free to ask a good looking stranger for advice on your next read (or offer up your own opinion on a book you see them holding).

The hardware store

Yes, I’m serious. It’s great when people are willing to try to fix things themselves instead of automatically running to call the nearest professional for something small. Ask a stranger for advice on carpeting or start up a simple conversation over which type of paint you like best.

Simply going to these places isn’t going to ensure that another single is going to approach you. Make your approach!

Sure we may not always look our best when we step out of our home. How many times have you stepped out in a tank top with baggy Capri pants, hair thrown up in ridiculously messy pile on your head and big sunglasses to erase the fact that you drank too much last night and you had no energy to wear makeup? When you’re single, you never know who you’re going to run into and where. Chances are when you look your worst, you’ll run into the gorgeous man that you wanted when you were friends in college…and he’s single. Chances are you’re not exactly feeling your sexiest at that moment.

When you are out during the day you should dress to impress…yourself that is. Forget about anyone else. When you go out on a date you dress to feel good and to make a good impression to your date. When you go out during the day to run to the post office or the supermarket, you don’t exactly think about dressing to impress the tons of people you’ll pass along the way. However, you should at least dress to feel good about yourself. People pick up on those good vibes, that positive energy, plus the fact that you just feel good in your own skin. That’s sexy and that is what’s going to get a stranger talking to you and possibly asking you for your number. Being single can be difficult, putting out positive energy is going to do nothing but help you. I’m not saying you have to go out in a ball gown and your stilettos, but when you step out look presentable. Just feel good in what you wear. I don’t know anyone who steps out in giant sweats, a stained t-shirt and a big hoodie and feels like they look gorgeous. Hell, even if you throw on a pair of jeans, a cute t-shirt, a little makeup and hair combed, it’ll make you feel better then the sweatpants garb. When you dress frumpy, you feel frumpy. Even if you don’t meet someone while you’re out, you’ll still go home feeling good about yourself.

Chances are you’ve known one or two of these people sometime in your life either when you were a teenager or as an adult. The girls are in such short skirts that if they bend over a few centimeters the world will see everything and the guys are doing the side to side groin swivel dance right in front of their girl of prey giving them the hooded eye glance.

In case you haven’t realized by now, I’m not really fond of the garbage pickup lines, so I’m definitely not going to be fond of stupid ploys to get someone else’s attention. The best way to (positively) get someone else’s attention instead of showing off is by giving them a glance, a look from across the room. I remember this guy who got my attention one time when I was younger and at a club. The guy was an excellent dancer, the kind you stop and stare at. He had the floor, he was dead center. I was standing at the side, talking with my girl friends. This guy gave me a look and caught my eye. A few minutes later as I was turned talking to my girl friends, he comes over in the middle of his “routine” grabs my hand and kisses it and asks me to wait for him later. Almost instantly my girl friends and I gave each other a look. We had the same thought- Suave. So how many times has he done that before?

There are plenty of people out there that feel as though the (excessively) revealing clothing and shaking their butt in front of strangers is going to get their attention. There are also those that feel that suave moves and a player facade will get you attention. It may get you the attention, but not the attention that you want. You won’t be taken seriously. When you think that you’re getting the other persons attention, chances are they’re really thinking of how they could never date you.

Be yourself. Introduce yourself and give the other person a sincere look of interest. That alone will score more points then you could imagine.