Dating

After a breakup, many people find themselves on the rebound. They’re looking for someone to temporarily fill the void that they feel. But what do you do if you’re on the receiving end of that attention?

I would say to have zero expectations. The person could say nice things, take you out on fabulous dinners and make you feel like you’re the most important person in the world. Unfortunately, they may not always mean it. Yes, it’s not great to hear, but it’s the truth. If you have the expectation that you’re going to date this person long term, marry them, have a family with them, etc, then you could be setting yourself up for disaster. Don’t forget, sometimes a couple that has broken up gets back together. If strong feelings are still there between your current interest and his/her ex, you need to realize that you are not number one…yet. You are currently second to his ex. Not a great feeling, but something that will help to keep you from getting unnecessarily hurt.

I’m not saying to completely disregard this person at all. Take your time and take things slow. Most of the time with a breakup, both parties do not come out unscathed. Give the person time to heal before you force expectations on them and/or make them go to the next level. Don’t force them to give you attention or commitment. You want to make sure that that person is interested in you because of you, not because of the lack of someone else.

Communication and observation is key in this situation. Talk to this person and see how they feel about you and how they feel about their ex, but don‘t push for information. Remember to talk and not interrogate. Observe them. Look for signs of his/her attention being more focused on you and spending time with you. Look for this person to have a genuine interest in moving on instead of a fake, forced interest in doing so.

If and when things are ready to happen, they will.