Dating

On the first date, do you believe that it is okay to stretch the truth about your life? For example, should you say that you’re 29 when you’re really 33? In my opinion, absolutely not.

I’m not a fan of stretching the truth, or basically lying. Look at it this way. Using the example above, when the person you’re dating finds out that you’re not the age you said you were, how is he supposed to react to being fibbed to. Not only that, but now his family and friends are going to know your age. How is he supposed to explain getting your age wrong? If he says “She told me she was that age” you now look like a liar to the people he cares about the most. You may not think of it as a big deal, but loved ones are THE MOST critical regarding who the person dates. Any indication that you’re a liar or that you “stretched the truth” is not going to be attractive to them.

The only way to start out dating anyone, especially if it could turn into long term, is to start out with pure honesty. Besides, the person is eventually going to find out that whatever you fibbed about isn’t true.

You should be who you truly are with no shame to it at all. No one is perfect and you should own up to the great things that you’ve done and who you are as well as what your flaws are (whatever you consider them to be).

If you feel that you have to fib about something, then that’s an internal issue that you have to deal with. If you feel that you have to fib because of the other person, then you probably shouldn’t be dating them in the first place.

When you’re dating someone, especially when you first start dating, there tends to be some yearning for constant togetherness. You find yourself going to work and talking to them all day, going to their home after work and even staying there until you have to go to work again the next day. Some couples live together, work together, and hang out with the same people. Here is why this can start to affect your relationship in a not so positive way.

Constant togetherness can make a person feel suffocated. People need breathing room, they need time to be their own person. Just because they are dating someone else, doesn’t mean that they have to lose their own identity. Their identity is what attracted this other person in the first place. People need their own alone time to do the things that they love to do, yes even if the person that their dating loves it too. Even when you get angry at the other person, where are you going to go to breathe and cool off if you are constantly together with the person that you’re dating. Not to mention if you’re constantly together, you have nothing to talk about because the other person was right next to you when you experienced whatever it was that you would have talked to them about.

Friends are also an important part of who you are. When you constantly combine that with the person your dating, it leaves you no room and no time to make separate memories with your friends and have certain conversations that your significant other doesn’t want to hear. Not to mention friends want to spend time with you, have and enjoy your company and not always spend time with you AND the person that you’re dating.

If you have discovered that you and the person that your dating have way too much constant togetherness, here are some things that you can do to ease up a bit:

Find a hobby that you’ve always wanted to get into and start doing it. Let the other person your dating do their own hobby and both of you can converse when you do see each other about your experiences.

Take a class. Whether it be a cooking class or a philosophy class, take a class that you think that you would really enjoy. Since the person that you’re dating won’t be in the class with you, you can teach them a thing or two about what you learned when you do see them.

Spend time exercising by yourself. While some people say that working out with the person that they are dating is the best motivation that they have, they can still get motivated by that person by verbal encouragement instead of having that persons presence there. Exercising has a habit of opening your mind and giving you plenty of time to think.

Schedule at least one day a week with your friends. Even if it’s for a few hours to have lunch or grab a coffee, make sure that you have this time to have associations and form bonds with other people you care about besides the person that you’re dating.