Dating

You may have asked this question in the past or maybe you’re wondering it now. It can be a difficult situation to be in.

If you really like the person that you’re dating, why would you date other people? Well if this person is dating other people or doesn’t want a relationship, then you are free to date other people. If they tell you that they don’t want you dating other people when either they don’t want a relationship or they’re already dating others, you may want to reevaluate things. The person that you’re dating has their cake and wants to eat it too.

I’ve been in this position before. The guy told me he didn’t want a relationship so I started dating other people. When I told him I was dating others, he got upset, but I had already told him that after our discussion he basically gave me permission to do so. He quickly changed his mind on us “casually dating” and we moved onto exclusive.

Be aware that if you do decide to date other people, the person that you’re already casually dating may get upset. The situation could go one of three ways- they could cut ties completely, continually casually dating you or decide to move to exclusive. The only way you can truly know what’s going on is to simply ask first before you do anything. If you’re casually dating someone, there’s no reason at all that you can’t date other people, that’s why it’s called casually dating and not exclusively dating.

Casually dating isn’t so complicated, that is, until you realize that you want to take it to the next level and be exclusive with the person you’re interested in. Granted, it doesn’t have to be complicated, but sometimes it is. So how do you take your casual dating relationship to exclusive?

It’s quite simple, you have to ask. Yes it’s scary, but it’s so much better knowing where both you and the other person stand as opposed to being clueless and trying to analyze every little thing that they do for some type of answer.

Here are the situations that could happen. S/he could either say that they have feelings for you as well and want to be exclusive, they don’t want to be exclusive and want to continue casually dating, or they’ll break everything off entirely. Being faced with these three options leads people to back off from bringing up the topic of exclusivity in the first place.

Let’s break down these situations.

If s/he wants to be exclusive, great, you got what you want and you can see where it goes from there.

They don’t want to be exclusive but want to continue casually dating you. Here’s the problem with this scenario. You could still go out and casually date other people, but while you’re also still casually dating this person, you’re heart is going to have some form of attachment and therefore you are less likely to be able to give your heart to someone else. They may not ever be able (or want) to be exclusive with you. You’re better off breaking it off all together so you can completely move on. Why would you sit there and waste your time with someone who doesn’t want what you want? This leads me to the third scenario.

S/he breaks off everything entirely after you bring up being exclusive. This is probably what scares a person the most out of the three options. Here’s the thing. If a guy or girl is given the option to be with someone that they have feelings for, chances are they’re going to jump at the chance. If the person has feelings and doesn’t take the opportunity, well then they have an issue that you can’t fix and they’re going to have to work through it themself.

If you let the person go and they don’t come back to you willing to work on things, then they’re not worth your time and you’re better off finding someone else. If they do come back, then they realized what they had, what they lost, and what they don’t want to live without.

I know from personal experience how much it hurts to be in a situation like this and how frustrating it can be. However, I also know that it does, in all honesty, work out for the best.