Dating

A good man is hard to find. Chances are you’ve heard that said numerous times and it definitely is the truth. As difficult as it may seem, it’s nowhere near impossible.

If you want to start finding a good man, stay away from the ones that you usually go for. If you don’t already know the type you go for, ask some of your friends. Chances are they’ll be able to tell you with no problem.

Also, keep your options open. In other words, be picky but not overly so. If some guy comes up to you saying “Hey ma you have such a nice butt. Let me get your number.” then I would suggest walking away. If a guy comes up to you, looks presentable and says “Hi, I’m John. Your name is?” then give the conversation a chance instead of rolling your eyes and walking away. So what if he doesn’t exactly match the physical requirements that you’re used to, give it a chance anyway.

When you go out somewhere, don’t be desperate. Basically, don’t go out with the intention of meeting a man, go out with the intention of having fun. If you’re reeking of desperation you’re either going to get no interest or you’re going to get interest from a man looking for only one thing.

If you want to find a good man, dress appropriately. Most good men want a woman that they won’t be embarrassed to bring around their loved ones. If you’re breasts are hanging out or your g-string is pulled completely out of your jeans, you’re probably not going to attract the type of man that you want. Men should be introducing themselves to you as a person, not introducing themselves to your assets.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard women ask “Why do I attract all the jerks!?” It may be you and it may not be. if you get a crappy guy, don’t think that it’s completely your fault. Evaluate what you’re doing and how you project yourself. However, there are times when a jerk just happens to slip through the cracks.

When you meet someone with dating potential online, you may be embarrassed to tell your loved ones how you actually met. Maybe your grandmother and other older members of your family wouldn’t understand, but chances are the younger members will. Times have changed. With all of the social networking sites, forums and dating sites on the internet there are plenty of opportunities for you to meet your potential match. There’s no reason for you to pass up dating someone worthwhile just because you’re afraid of what others are going to think.

Dating online does not, and I repeat does not, mean that you’re a loser. It’s simply another way that you can meet people. Who cares what other people think. You’re the one that’s going to be dating this person, not them. Let them say what they want. As long as you’re happy with what you’re doing, their words shouldn’t matter.

You can basically meet singles anywhere. The possibilities are all over the place. However, for those saying “But I tried and it’s not happening! Give me specifics!”, here are three great places for you to go and meet other singles.

The dog park
You may not even have to do the work, your dog may do it for you. Your dog meets a dog, one thing leads to another and before you know it you’re conversing with the other dog’s owner who happens to be quite attractive. Even sitting next to a good looking stranger can spur conversation as you watch the dogs run around together. Besides, at least you know that both of you are dog lovers.

The book store

I happen to find reading sexy. It shows that the person is willing to go out of their way to expand their mind and read something that they’re not being forced to read (I.e. all of those boring documents at work). A book store is chock full of people who love reading and who, chances are, love talking about the book that they’re currently reading. Feel free to ask a good looking stranger for advice on your next read (or offer up your own opinion on a book you see them holding).

The hardware store

Yes, I’m serious. It’s great when people are willing to try to fix things themselves instead of automatically running to call the nearest professional for something small. Ask a stranger for advice on carpeting or start up a simple conversation over which type of paint you like best.

Simply going to these places isn’t going to ensure that another single is going to approach you. Make your approach!

Sure we may not always look our best when we step out of our home. How many times have you stepped out in a tank top with baggy Capri pants, hair thrown up in ridiculously messy pile on your head and big sunglasses to erase the fact that you drank too much last night and you had no energy to wear makeup? When you’re single, you never know who you’re going to run into and where. Chances are when you look your worst, you’ll run into the gorgeous man that you wanted when you were friends in college…and he’s single. Chances are you’re not exactly feeling your sexiest at that moment.

When you are out during the day you should dress to impress…yourself that is. Forget about anyone else. When you go out on a date you dress to feel good and to make a good impression to your date. When you go out during the day to run to the post office or the supermarket, you don’t exactly think about dressing to impress the tons of people you’ll pass along the way. However, you should at least dress to feel good about yourself. People pick up on those good vibes, that positive energy, plus the fact that you just feel good in your own skin. That’s sexy and that is what’s going to get a stranger talking to you and possibly asking you for your number. Being single can be difficult, putting out positive energy is going to do nothing but help you. I’m not saying you have to go out in a ball gown and your stilettos, but when you step out look presentable. Just feel good in what you wear. I don’t know anyone who steps out in giant sweats, a stained t-shirt and a big hoodie and feels like they look gorgeous. Hell, even if you throw on a pair of jeans, a cute t-shirt, a little makeup and hair combed, it’ll make you feel better then the sweatpants garb. When you dress frumpy, you feel frumpy. Even if you don’t meet someone while you’re out, you’ll still go home feeling good about yourself.

Speed dating is huge right now if you are a single person on the dating scene. It’s no wonder why. You go on a date with a bunch of people in the same amount of time that you would usually have to suffer through brunch with one bad date. Not to mention if you make a complete fool out of yourself, you only have a few minutes to deal with the embarrassment before that person moves on and you never have to see them again if either if you don’t want to.

How it works is that women sit at tables and are joined by a different man after a certain amount of time. The pair talks for an allotted time and when a buzzer rings, the men move onto the next table to talk to the next female. Both of you check on your cards if you would like to get to know the person better and if you liked each other. At the end of the speed dating session. You turn in these cards and you are contacted within a few days if both of you checked on your respective cards that you liked each other. A little reminiscent of childhood, no? Do you like me? Check yes or no!

Considering that there is so little time to make a positive first impression, this is something that you can’t go into blindly. If you’re going to do speed dating, you may as well do it the right way.

First of all, physical appearance is important. After all, you have under 10 minutes to make an impression so you will be judged by your looks in addition to what you have to say. Not to say that you have to be a supermodel, but for goodness sakes at least look presentable. If you go in there with your hair all greasy and you’re wearing last night’s clothes, how are you expecting to make a positive impression? Dress to impress but be yourself. Don’t dress to conform to what you think other people would like, dress the way that you normally would if you were going out for a nice dinner.

If you meet someone and they have a frown on their face and during your five minute conversation with them they didn’t crack a smile once, you’re going to wonder if they left their personality at the door. No one goes into speed dating saying to themselves, “Hey I hope a meet a guy that hates to smile and has zero personality!” If this is the way that you’re planning on showing up, don’t bother going at all.

Don’t complain how speed dating never works for you and you don’t know why you’re there, that your ex boyfriend got some other girl pregnant when you were together, and how you tried the internet dating but everyone thought you were ugly. You really want to fill the minimum time you have with negativity? Besides it makes you sound completely insecure and unconfident. Be positive and happy!

Look the person in the eye. Don’t stare at the girl’s chest or the guys muscular arms. If you’re talking to the other person’s body parts, chances are you’re not listening to much of what they have to say and you’re never going to get a date out of it.

Stop talking about yourself and give the other person a chance to get a word in edge wise. If you’re so busy talking about yourself, how are you planning on learning about the other person? What are you going to judge them on after you realized that you talked about yourself the entire time- how well they nodded their head at you?

Don’t mention sex on the speed date. This includes the questions “Do you like sex?”, “How many sex partners have you had?” and “What’s your favorite sexual position?”. It’s classless and it says absolutely nothing positive about you at all. Granted sex is important in a relationship, but you’re not in a relationship yet. You don’t need to learn this information now.

Be aware of what you’re doing with your body. If you’re leaning forward with your hands on the table, you look absolutely desperate and way too eager. If you’re sitting there slouched with your arms folded you look like you could care less about the person or about being there in the first place. Sit up straight and rest your hands comfortably. Be relaxed. You’re not in an interrogation room at the police station, you’re on a speed date.

Finally, the questions that you will be asked and what you will ask are incredibly relevant. Think about some questions that you may be asked and have some type of answer thought up. Don’t rehearse it word for word, but at least have some idea on what direction you’re planning on taking your answer in. Get the deal breaker questions out of the way first. If you refuse to date a smoker or you only want to date someone who is the same religion as you, the first questions you should be asking are “Are you a smoker?” and “What is your religion?”.

Some good questions to ask on a speed date are:
What do you do for a living?
Is your current job your ideal career?
How do you handle an argument with a significant other?
What are you passionate about?
What is the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?
Where did you grow up?
Do you have any pets?
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Are you more of a night or day person?
Do you like sports? What is your favorite sports team?
What is your nationality?
How long have you been friends with your best friends?
Why did your last relationship end?
Were you ever married before?
Do you have any kids?
Are you close with your family?

Speed dating is a good alternative for the people who want to narrow down their dating options quickly and who don‘t have the time to meet people any other way. Just remember not to take it so seriously, just try to relax and have some fun.